Fast forward 3 years later, and after spending a horrific Christmas and New-Years with my over-protective husband and his coddled 9yr old daughter, I was ready to call it quits. No really – finish and done! No more bending over backwards, no more checking my tone of voice whenever I spoke with my step-daughter, no more walking on eggs around her, no more feeling like an outsider in my own home. I’ve had it! Years of struggling and fighting and crying and begging and praying and fighting some more, finally took its toll. I wanted a divorce! Now!!!
Let me just add this: Over the past three years I have been lucky enough to have been able to build a strong and loving relationship with my step-daughter (yes I know it doesn’t sound like it in my previous paragraph but just hear me out….). Her mother has been in-and-out of rehab all her life, which left No. 2 all alone with the responsibilities of mothering and fathering his daughter. He did the best he knew how – and for that I have to applaud his efforts. But because he felt guilty of what his daughter had to endure since early child-hood, he raised her without boundaries! Ting-ting! Problem number one.
They were basically alone together until the time No. 2 met me (up until she was 5 years old), so she naturally started to take on the role as the woman-of-the-house. Ting-ting! Problem number two.
Being a single parent is not easy – it is really very hard. So I honestly cannot blame No. 2 for raising his daughter on junk-food. Maybe I can – but I choose not to go there (I have lots more to be angry about). Now join this fact to an addictive personality (a gift her mother left her) and what do you get? An overweight girl who will steal and lie to satisfy her need to overindulge. Ting-ting! Problem number three.
Add in to this mixture the emotional problems caused by an absent mother on a little girl, an over-protective passive aggressive father, and a husband who only knows how to care for his daughter and not a wife... and there you have it…. My life!
So then the question may arise: What is this blog about? After everything mentioned so far, I have decided to give it another go.
No. 2 apparently loves me very much and agreed that we go for counselling. So I thought it good to write about our journey to recovery. Maybe all will work out well? Maybe it will end up in divorce. I don’t know. But I am sure that I am not the only step-mother faced with this dilemma.
So let the ride begin……!
In the beginning there was a newly divorced woman who enjoyed the tranquil peace of her single life. Husband no. 1 was a real treat - Mr. Serial Cheater! Five years, seven mistresses and buckets full of tears later, I chose to end the drama. Like cutting of an abscessed arm, because you know if you don’t, it will kill you! And the pain of that first divorce was (almost) unbearable! Let me tell you. No fun at all! Yet I made it and was proud of myself to have survived it, while Mr. Serial Cheater moved in with mistress number seven.
Fast forward on one year later and I am relaxing in my living room, chatting with friends on a social network, waiting for the (no excuse) Romantic-Comedy-of-the-month to start on my TV, when a new friend request popped up on my cellphone screen. Had I but suffered a moment of blindness! Had I ignored that friend request and lived happily single ever after! But NOOOO…. my ever-familiar curiosity got the better of me and I unashamedly fell in love with this cyber man. The absurdity of it all! Me? The level-headed, no-nonsens, happy-to-be-single, ME? Falling in love over cyber-space? Never ever ever!!
Ha! One year later the church-bells are ringing, family gathered from far and wide while I walk down the isle to meet husband no. 2. The one with the girl and boy from his previous marriages. He got full custody of his little girl and so in one day I became the wife number 3 and the STEP-MOM!
Previous PostsAnd then there were three, posted January 23rd, 2013
In the beginning, posted January 23rd, 2013
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